January Walks

My favorite thing to do to clear my mind is to go for walks alone.  It's a time for me to clear my head, to reflect on important things, and spend time with God.  Today has been a rather weird day when you go for an interview and the person interviewing you obviously hasn't even looked over your resume' when you hear the words, "You've not even worked in an office atmosphere." Um, what?  I only have spent the past 25 years of my working career in an office atmosphere. I quickly informed her that I had worked 8 years in the corporate office of a trucking company near downtown Nashville from 2003 - 2011. I didn't go on to inform her of all the other office jobs I'd had. I was really refraining from sarcastic comments by this time.  She then says, "Oh, so I guess you did."  I'm not sure this girl liked me from the get go. Not sure why. But it's ok.  Clearly I'm not supposed to have that job, and I know God has other plans for me. What those plans are, I don't know, but I'm open to wherever He wants to take me.  So I decided to take a walk today after the weird morning I endured.  We've got some great nature trails not far from where I live, and I just took off on one of those to get some fresh air and pray. I know I say this all the time, but I LOVE being in nature. Just being outside.  I've always loved the outdoors and getting fresh air in my lungs.  God's creation always blows me away. And how often do I take it for granted? As I walked around this trail today, there were birds flying all around me, and squirrels scurrying around. It was cold, but it didn't even matter because it was so peaceful.  If you get out in nature and look around, you just see and hear God everywhere.  It's so easy to get so busy and caught up in the things around us that we just don't take the time to walk outside and literally, smell the roses.  God made all of this for us to enjoy, and how many times do we just go through a day and not even notice the sky, the clouds, the sun, the birds, the squirrels.  We are too worried about "stuff" here, and just don't take the time to live and take it all in. All that He has made for us.  When I'm in His creation, I always think of these verses.  Matthew 6:25-29  "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these."   BAM!!! Those scriptures hit me hard.  We worry so much about "things", storing away in barns, and clothes, and the latest styles.  Heaven knows I'm not a fashionista by any sense of the word because honestly? I just don't care.  I never have.  And these verses right here pretty much tell me why I shouldn't care.  Because it's NOT important. The lilies of the field are dressed in more splendor than any of us can ever be because they are dressed by God, and He takes care of them.  Oh, His creation.  What  a joy, what a splendor.  Even in January, when it's cold, His creation is still beautiful.  You just have to look.  Enjoy it today, no matter what kind of weird, crazy, or even bad day you may be having.  God cares.  He sees you. Even when I get angry with Him, when I don't understand what He wants me to do or where He wants me to go, I know He can handle me and my anger. I know He understands, and I know He cares.  Man. What a peace that brings to me.  I hope you're feeling His peace today no matter your circumstance. He's there.  Be blessed, my friends, and take just a moment today to notice His creation.  He made it for you.

Belize

My first mission trip was to Belize in March 2013. It's funny how God drops things in your lap when you least expect it. And that's exactly what He did in 2013.  I have always wanted to go on a mission trip, but just never had an opportunity, working full time and never having enough vacation time.  Well, in April of 2011, I walked away from my job, and since that time, God's blessings have been immeasurable in my life.  Granted, I'm not rich for doing so, but somehow God makes a way for me to pay my bills every month and allows me to have the freedom to do HIS work.  It's been pretty incredible being free of the "American Dream" for the past almost 4 years, even though I have friends and family who don't understand what in the world I'm doing. I am looking for work, but I am trying to get something flexible that will allow me to still travel with Durant and do HIS work because that's all I long to do.  I joined Durant in the summer of 2012.  That August, we sang in the little town of Denver City, TX. If you've never been there, well, if you blink, you might miss it.  Considering I'd never been to Texas until that time, I was excited to be there. It was another state I could mark off my bucket list. I know, many of you are thinking how did I ever make it to age 39 without going there?  And the answer is, I don't know.  But it finally worked out, and at this large youth rally where we sang was where my dreams started coming true.  Durant opened for Acappella that night, and it was such a fun concert.  It was hotter than all get out in Texas, and we sang out on a football field because apparently, football is a BIG DEAL in Texas. ;)  This town had nothing, but they sure had a nice, big high school football stadium. :)  Anyway, this youth rally had A LOT of kids there.  It was just a great time, and it was my first "official" concert with Durant, so I was on cloud 9.  Well, after that concert, some guy had come up to one of the girls in our group and said he wanted to take us on a mission trip to Belize in March of 2013.  She laughed because she thought he surely meant Acappella, not Durant.  No one really asked Durant to do such things.  When she told him he must have meant Acappella, he said, "No. I mean you guys...Durant."  I remember her telling all of  us this story, and I just couldn't believe it.  Here I was about to be 40 years old and I might just FINALLY get to go on a mission trip. I wasn't working other than my own business, and I could schedule my OWN time off and not worry about about a boss or if I had enough time built up to take off... I finally wasn't tied to a desk and I could do this.  I think that night in my life was the most excited I have ever been to do anything.  Even better than attending the St. Louis Cardinals World Series game in 1987.  This FAR exceeded any sporting event, any vacation, or anything I had ever done in my life.  We had all of our expenses paid for the trip, and I seriously still can't believe it.  The main reason I always wanted to do mission work was not to only spread the good news of God, but to have my eyes opened to how spoiled rotten we are in this country and all the things we took for granted.  The first thing I noticed was when we were picked up from the airport.  The roads were HORRIBLE.  I mean HORRIBLE.  Pot holed roads with no concrete. Just dirt roads. You would hit your head on the top of the van if the driver didn't slow down going over some of those holes, and there's so many of them, it was impossible to dodge them all.  I thought to myself I would never complain about the rough roads again in America.  After that, we got to our hotel and I found you were lucky if you ever had a hot shower.  This is a nice "resort" where we stayed, but you still don't have the luxuries that you have in the States. So you learned to take very fast showers. :)  Even though I missed a hot shower, I could not get over the peace I felt being out of the States. It was quiet in Belize, it was peaceful in Belize, it was an atmosphere of no description. When I looked up at the sky during the day, all I saw were palm trees and tropical birds flying around and singing. There were no noises of "busy-ness". At night, I could go outside and look up at the sky and actually see stars because there were no signs of city lights. I felt I was truly in God's presence the entire time I was there. It was just different than living here. I don't really know how to describe it, but I felt a peace, a happiness that I'd not felt in a long time. I really didn't want to leave. I think I was the only one in Durant who didn't want to come home because I knew what coming home meant....busy-ness. I don't like busy-ness. To me that is the devil's handiwork to keep us so busy that we forget to do the Lord's work. And we are in such a hurry here. It makes me nuts. We live by a watch or a time clock, are we really living?  Since that time in March 2013, I have longed to do full time mission work, but how? How does a single person, especially a female, do that? I actually don't want to go alone, but I would love to work with a team.  I feel God calling me to do more than live in the States, work a job, retire, and die.  I want to do more. I want to make a difference.  So as I write this blog today, I don't know what my future may hold, but I know I'm going back to Belize in less than 2 months. My flight was booked last night, and March 14-18, I will be in this beloved place again.  Having traveled to the UK, Africa, and Belize, my heart longs for Belize out of all of those places.  I don't know why. Maybe it's because it was my first mission trip, but I know my heart is there. I'm just sad that our trip has to be cut short this year because we have a trip to take to Wisconsin as soon as we get back.  I hear the others in Durant saying "Can't wait to get home", and I think to myself, "I'm already home and I don't want to leave."  One day, some way, somehow, I would love to live in Belize.  How or when that may happen, I don't know, but I do know all things are possible with God, and if He wants me there, it will happen.  Things don't seem to work out for me here in the States like they do for other folks, and I don't think that's coincidence.  So, I sit here now counting down to the days I get to go to Belize. I am excited. If anyone had told me 10 years ago I would be doing what I'm doing right now, I would have never believed them. God has surely been patient with me, I'm not sure why, but I am thankful for His grace. Bring on Belize 2015!!

The Failed Blogger....

That's it. I can finally admit it. Yes, my friends, I am a failure...as in a failed blogger.  Not posting anything since September has donned me with this award.  I'm hanging my head in shame, and I will wear the letters "FB" on my forehead for "Failed Blogger".  I can admit defeat.  But, maybe, just maybe with the new year upon us, I will pick myself up, dust off this blog, and get with it again.  Does anyone else feel rejuvenated when a New Year starts?  Boy, I sure do.  I get a clean slate, a chance to start over, a chance to try again at things that didn't happen for me in the previous year.  I do set goals every New Year, I'm not sure I would call them "resolutions", but goals.  Do I always make those goals? Heavens no, but one of these years, I WILL make them.  This year is no different, I have some goals set in my head.  I don't usually tell them to anyone, that way if I don't reach them, the only one who knows is me. But it doesn't stop me from trying again in the New Year. There are some goals I made last year that I never met, but some I did....like traveling to/being in 5 different countries in a year.  That was actually a goal I didn't really set, but kinda fell in my lap. Still pinching myself about that.   But there are some goals I didn't meet last year, and so I've set them again this year, and I believe I will achieve them this time.  I'm just waiting for God's provision and timing. I just want to stop talking about things and actually make them happen.  The problem I have with not attaining some of my goals is lack of self esteem and belief in myself to do something, then I just give up and don't care.  It's a problem I've had most of my life, but this year, I'm going to try and work on that. Because, face it, if you don't believe in yourself, who will? And how will you ever achieve anything just always giving up? These are just some rambling, bumbling thoughts going through my head today.  So what about you in this New Year of 2015?  What are you going to go for? What are you going to change? Maybe it's changing careers, or taking a mission trip, or relocating, or just having more self esteem. What do you want to do in life to make a difference in someone else's?  One thing about it, we are all in this crazy journey of life together, and God loves each and everyone of us that He sent Jesus to die for all. Even though I mess up daily, I'm thankful He STILL loves me...right where I am, low self esteem, failures, and all. Keep your chins up, my friends.  The year is just beginning.  And I'll even work on becoming a better blogger....because I know, your day is just not complete without a few ramblings from Jewels.  Let's do this! Love y'all!