Those who know me well, know I'm not much of a reader. Well, within the past year or so, I have been trying to change that. And much to my surprise, I am enjoying reading. I mostly read spiritual books, and my favorite are near death experience books. Now that may sound morbid, but admit it, we all want to know what happens when we die. Sure, most of us believe we are going to Heaven or Hell, but I'm talking about what REALLY happens when we die. What are we going to experience? Have you thought about dying in your sleep? I often wonder about people who have passed on in their sleep. What must it be like. I mean, one minute you're dreaming, and the next you're in a whole new realm. I wonder if you think you're still dreaming or if it becomes an instant reality. I don't know, maybe I have too much time on my hands to think about such things, but on the other hand, we are all just one breath away from death, so is it not something we should think about? No one really wants to think about it, but it's going to happen to all of us sooner or later, so why be scared? I'm certainly not scared of death, I'm actually looking forward to the day when I don't have to face the "junk" of this world, read ranting political Facebook posts (or just ranting posts in general), or turn on the news to see nothing but bad news. It makes me grow so weary. Recently, I read a book entitled, "To Heaven and Back" by Dr. Mary C. Neal, MD. I believe I read this book in about two days because I couldn't put it down. Her book takes you on a spiritual journey and her near death experience when she drowned in a kayaking accident. She spoke of things she saw and experienced, and how it really strengthened her relationship with God. I don't want to give away the entire book, but I will say that she has experienced much turmoil in her life. Her faith inspired me. But yet, I must say, I am a bit jealous of people who have near death experiences or "see" things that I don't seem to "see". Why is it that some people get to experience things like this when I have to continually live by faith? Not that I mind living by faith because I love living by faith, but what I would give to just experience actually seeing something like an angel or the face of Jesus. And maybe I do. Maybe I am too focused on this earth to realize I've had encounters with angels. The one thing I always find in EVERY near death experience book I've read is the people who have good experiences say the same thing..."I didn't want to come back. I don't belong here." The thing I find ironic about this last statement is I say that sentence over and over again, day after day...I've told several of my friends, "I just don't belong here." I've not had a near death experience, but even so, I have never felt as though I belonged here. I've never "fit in" here. Even when I was kid, many times I felt alone. I've always felt I'm created for another world. I especially feel this way when I feel lonely or see others lives going just as they planned. And the older I get and how I keep losing loved ones and friends, the more I'm ready to go, too. I'm actually jealous that they are already experiencing Heaven while I'm still "stuck" here. I'm just selfish that way because I know I'm still here because the Lord is not done with me yet. But wow... I am SO ready for Heaven. It excites me more than anything, it's what I love to talk about, and I feel sorry for the people who claim Christianity, but don't have these same feelings. So what are your thoughts? Are you longing for Heaven? Have you ever had a near death experience or seen angels? I'd love to hear your stories if so. Another amazing book to check out if you're interested in near death experiences is a book by Don Piper entitled, "90 Minutes in Heaven". I'm not sure how anyone can read these books and have doubts that there is not more out there than THIS earth. God bless and keep your eyes on the prize, and if you get there before I do, save me a place!
If you're living and breathing (which you are if you're reading this blog), you have had to make choices in your life. Sometimes they're easy, sometimes not so easy. Recently, I've had to make a choice that hasn't been so easy. With this blog, I write with mixed emotions. I am sad and excited all at the same time. A couple of weeks ago, I decided it was time to walk away from singing with 1WORD. As much as I love singing with them and have enjoyed every step of the way with them, when I joined a new group this summer (Durant), it was just beginning to get overwhelming trying to juggle two singing groups. Trying to learn new songs with two different groups, record a new album with each group, along with trying to balance singing on the Praise Team every week at church. I was becoming stressed trying to make it all work. Those who know me well know that my passion and desire has been to do nothing more than minister through music and travel the world to share the good news of Christ through song. Try, try, and try as I have to do this with people in the past, they always had big ideas, but it never happened. It always just ended up being a bunch of talk and then it went nowhere. It was so frustrating. I was needing to find a core group of folks who are not tied down and really had a passion to minister through music, and by that, I mean, leave everything behind and go into all the world. I never knew if I would have this opportunity, but that's where my doubt comes in to play. Why didn't I believe the words of Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." The words of this verse ring more true with me every day. You have to believe it if you want it to happen...something I wasn't doing. Durant is becoming increasingly busy with a travel schedule that includes us going abroad, Lord willing, in 2013. I knew with our travel schedule that it was just going to be next to impossible to try keeping up with 1WORD. It is also not fair to them as a group to have to work around "my" schedule. So with much prayer, consideration, a phone call from one of the members of 1WORD, and listening to the voice of God, I have heard Him calling me to travel with Durant. I believe the Lord is calling me into a world of ministry through music, and I have to be ready to go wherever He chooses to lead me. Mark 16:15 says, "Go into all of the world and preach the gospel to all creation." This is what I long to do, this is my passion...to share the good news with the world. To the people who don't know Christ, I want them to know Him...to REALLY know Him, the way I know Him. I'm single, I have nothing holding me down, so why would I not jump at this opportunity? I know there are probably people reading this who think I'm crazy. And that's ok. No matter what you do in life, someone is going to think you are nuts, but God is the one whom I have to please, not people. God has given me a talent, and I need to be using it for HIS kingdom, just as you need to be using YOUR talent for His kingdom. I'm excited about the future of Durant, and I ask you to please join me in prayer as we embark on this journey. And if you're not a fan, please become a fan of ours on Facebook by clicking Durant. You will be able to keep up with us through this page and all of our travels and upcoming events. Durant was started by Melissa Lancaster a few years ago and is part of the Acappella Company which has been ministering to folks for 30 years. Acappella Ministries was started by Keith Lancaster (Melissa's dad), and you will not find anyone with a bigger heart for God than this man. To this day, he and his wife, Sharon, still travel the world sharing the gift of music through his Praise and Harmony workshops. They are a wonderful family, if you know them, you know this. :-) Oh how the Lord has blessed me. I look back over my life and see how he has brought me to this place by my letting go and letting Him. So to 1WORD, I thank you all so much for giving me the opportunity to be a part of you for 5 or 6 years? I've lost track, but I know it all started with "The Dinner Bells" at Uncle Phil's Diner, the Christmas play at church all those years ago. I pray for your ministry and look forward to how God uses you all in the future. To Durant, I thank you all for giving me this once in a lifetime opportunity. I never in a million years dreamed this would be happening to me, but God knew all along. I can't wait to see how He uses us for HIS glory! And to all of you reading this, you are dear friends to me, and I thank you for going through the ups and downs of my life with me, for reading my blog, for encouraging and supporting me all the way. I am BLESSED beyond anything to have so many good friends and people in my life. The Lord is too good to me. I love you all, and I hope you have a blessed day in Him!!
As you all know, Lance Armstrong has been the hot topic lately. Apparently he lied about using drugs when competing in professional cycling. His world has been turned upside down in an instant. This is not a blog that is either for nor against Lance. I know nothing about the guy, and I'm certainly going to be the last person to judge someone because guess what? I've messed up, too. Guess what?? So have you. The difference in my "mess ups" and Lance's "mess ups" is he's in the spotlight. I know lots of folks who have screwed up royally in life, but somehow, it's not plastered all over the TV every two seconds because they're not famous. When you're famous and you "mess up", the whole world knows it. What I find rotten in all of this is, are we not all "messed up" in one form or another? Lance's life will more than likely never be the same because everyone will always "remember when...", and you know he's lost fans, and probably several friends through it all. It reminds me so much of times in my life that I have messed up and I've lost friends. Just recently, I realized a friend deleted me on Facebook that I've known almost my entire life. I'm not 100% sure why they deleted me, but I have my theory. I know this is hard to believe, BUT... I am not a perfect person. I know, it comes as a shock to me to even have to type those words. ;-) I do and have changed my mind on some things within the past several months, and apparently they were offended. It made me sad and even angry because I HATE losing friends or upsetting someone. I've always hated when I've upset someone because it just eats away at me, and I will think about it for weeks and months, and I will try anything to make things right. But I have to remember that it's just not in my control to please everyone all of the time, and no matter how hard I try, someone is going to dislike me for whatever reason. Jesus walked away from people, and sometimes, I've got to learn to do that, too, as much as I hate it. This is just one example of a friendship that I've blown because they saw me as someone else until I changed my view on something. Believe it or not, people can and do change when you let God take control. I've had my share of "remember when" moments, and if I could change things in my life for the stupid things I've done, I would, but the fact is...I can't. And you know what? It's ok. I'm sure if Lance Armstrong could go back in time, he would certainly do things differently. If he knew today what he was doing then would kill everything he'd ever worked for, do you think he would have chosen a different path? More than likely he would have. If I could turn back time and get a "re-do" in my life, do you think I would? Of course I would because I know I wouldn't have some people pointing fingers at me now or talking behind my back as they whisper, "Remember when..." Aren't you glad that Jesus doesn't do this to us?? What if He said, "You know what? You have too many "remember when" moments and it's all over for you. You've really messed up, and I'm done with you. I'm taking everything away from you. There is no way you'll ever inherit Heaven." Man, what if Jesus said these very words to us? Would any of us make it to Heaven? I'm thinking probably not. But guess what? Jesus doesn't say these words to us, yet he forgives us by His grace. He knows we mess up, and boy, haven't we all? All I know is, sure... Lance screwed up, but so have I...so have you. And for all the people who have cut me off or "deleted me" off Facebook, it makes me more and more thankful that God is my Savior and my judge and that people aren't because I'd never make it if some people were my judge. Would you? As I said earlier, I'm not a perfect person. I've messed up plenty, and guess what? I'll be messing up again, because as hard as I try to always do the right thing, I just can't always do it. But God loves me just where I am. God knows my heart, He knows I'm trying whether some people think I am or not. Have you ever noticed that the people who judge or "unfriend" you never sit down and talk with you to see where you are in your journey with God? At least that's been my experience. Until you've walked a mile in my shoes or anyone's shoes, maybe we should take the time to talk with that person...find out what's going on with them and pray for them instead of judging them from afar. Forget the "remember whens", today is a new day and it's time to look forward. As for Lance Armstrong, I'm sure that's what he's wanting to do, as well. Let God be His judge, because just like us, Lance is a sinner, but he can change and be a new person. God can use any of us. He can make us new creatures, and He will if we just let Him. I'm not famous by any means, and that is fine by me, but I have come to realize that the more people that recognize me from a singing group, the more I feel "watched". I just hope that I'm always a genuine person that radiates the love of Christ. I want people to see Him, not me. I hope that is what you want for your life, as well. Keep moving forward in your journey and keep your eyes on the One...the ONLY one who matters. God Bless!
Wow, I have not blogged for SEVERAL months. I'm a slacker, what can I say? :-) I had actually not really thought of this blog until yesterday when I met up with a dear friend from college to eat breakfast. She said, "Do you still blog?" I kinda laughed because I'm thinking, "Not really.", considering my last post was in June. :-) She told me she enjoyed reading my blog, so it's nice to know that someone enjoys reading it. I've often wondered if I was just wasting my time blogging, but I guess knowing I have ONE person who enjoys it makes it worth the while of writing. :-) So here goes...last week, I was blessed to be able to take a week long vacation to Daytona Beach with my new singing group, Durant. Little did I know while I was there that I would receive a text from one of my dear friends from Harding University asking me if I was going to be in town on Tuesday so maybe we could meet up. I was thrilled because I've not seen my friend, Tammy, in nearly 20 years. I know there are lots of negatives about Facebook, but there are lots of positives, too, and for me one of those positives is reconnecting with Tammy. I'd completely lost touch with her, so what a blessing to find her on Facebook quite some time ago. Tammy and I used to make weekend trips together back in college. She would go to her hometown, and I would go to visit some of my hometown friends who were attending Union University in Jackson, TN which was near to Tammy's hometown. We always had the best time on those car rides from Searcy, AR to Tennessee. She may not even remember this, and I may embarrass her by sharing the story, but I can't help but think of her whenever I drive back to Searcy now days. Those of you who know Harding know of that "fun" two lane road you have to travel between Bald Knob and Marion. Well, they've improved it some since the early 90's, but back then it was ALL two lane. You also know how those little towns all through there are nothing but speed traps. Well, Tammy (who wouldn't hurt a fly and is one of the best people I know), was pulled over in one of those little towns on our way to Tennessee one time. haha! I can't remember the name of the town, but I remember the location because we pulled over right in front of an old, abandoned factory. And that empty factory is still there 20 plus years later. I remember her being so calm about it, and I can't even remember if she got a ticket or just a warning. Probably just a warning because I don't know how anyone could give sweet Tammy a ticket. ;-) Looking back on this event, I'm sure she and I were talking and talking and talking, and not paying a lick of attention to the speed limit. Yes, I know those of you who know me are shocked that I would be talking so much. ;-) But that memory makes me laugh every time I pass by that old factory. It seems like yesterday. So here we are in 2012. A few years older, Tammy is married with a child, we have a few more gray hairs on our head then we did then, but we had the best time catching up yesterday. Talking about the past, yet talking about our lives and what we are doing today. It's like we'd never been apart. We'd just picked up right where we left off. Aren't those the best kinds of friends? Love or hate Harding University, for me, I have made some of the best friends of my life there. Friends for a lifetime! Some I may not keep in touch with on a regular basis, but there is no doubt in my mind, if we were to meet up today, we would pick up right where we left off, just as Tammy and I did. The Lord has blessed me with so many good friends, and yes, I miss seeing all of them on a regular basis. But as I was driving home yesterday from breakfast with Tammy, I couldn't help but think how we'll all be in Heaven one day...together again for eternity. It will be like being in college all over again. Who knows...we may take some more road trips together, but I bet this time...there won't be any cops involved! :-) Love ya, Tammy! Thanks for making my day yesterday by coming to Nashville! Let's not wait 20 years for the next visit! God bless you all! Have a wonderful day!
